Blog #4 Cultural Conflict

I experienced a true story about cultural conflict. It happened when I exchanged to the University of Waterloo in Canada. I had to adapt myself to dealing independently with the challenges outside a support familiar network. I settled down at a rent house outside campus and shared it with two other Canadian girls. They were very war-hearted and taught me how to use each facility. To build a strong neighbor-ship with them and good networking, I was always being considerable to them and treated them as my friends. Every time after I went to the supermarket nearby, they would always get a small gift from me. To be frank, we really got on well with each other. I liked the direct way they behaved. However, I felt very uncomfortable after they asked me to pay them for the toilet paper they bought. Oh, my god! I shouted out loudly in my heart. I bought them gifts and treated them as my friends but they were calculating and unwilling to make the smallest sacrifice.My face showed disappointment obviously, which made them confused. I said nothing and gave two bulks to them.

However, what happened later made me even frustrated. Sometimes, they were too busy with school that they left the plates for breakfast in the basin and washed them after school at night. Although it really caused much inconvenience to me as I had to cook lunch for myself sometimes, I never told them a single word. I washed and dried the dishes for them two or three times a week without any words for thanks from them. I did not want to bother about this and pretended everything was fine. Of course, I did clean everything after cooking. One day, I rushed to school for my mid-term exam and left the plates for my lunch in the basin. After exams, I went out for dinner and shopping, totally forgot the dirty plates. When I got home, it was already 11pm. I suddenly realized I did not wash the dishes. The basin was empty but a tiny piece of white appeared on my door saying “Hi, Ashley. Could you please do not leave the dishes in the basin till night? We have to cook dinner every night as you see. Thank you.” Tears came out of my eyes. I did not understand. I felt they never treated me as friends while I did so. I helped them thousands of times without mentioning and they complained when they did only once for me.

I was in mood in the following week. One of my classmates, who was also a new Canadian-Chinese friend made in Canada, noticed that and asked. After a conversation with her, I realized that there exist differences in the cultural understanding between the two people in question. In traditional Chinese culture, selfless dedication is an important value while the western culture’s value emphasizes self-centered consciousness and a strong sense of independence. It includes responsibility for selves. Everyone’s way of life and quality of life will depend on their ability, so everyone must fight themselves and their personal interests first. Thus, taking the initiative to help others or accept help others in the West is often very embarrassing because to accept help only proves inability while helping others would be considered interference in other people's private affairs. The individual value of Chinese is reflected in the dedication. In China, the active concern for others, giving great care and thoughtfulness is a virtue. Therefore, no matter what ages they are, Chinese are willing to take the initiative to care about the family affair, which in the West would be regarded as "regard your own business"

Obviously, what happened between my housemates and I proved this. It did not mean they did not treat me friends. It is just the differences of cultural value.